deep longing

there is this deep longing in all of us to know the Lord more and more to walk closer and closer to Him each waking day, it's overwhelming in a good way because it provokes us to search and examine ourselves sometimes we don't always like what we see when our eyes are enlightened in the mirror of Truth while we examine and so it causes us to weep over our imperfections taking them to the Throne of the Most High God crying out as David did create in me a clean heart . Jesus said blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled. sometimes we put so much pressure upon ourselves when we feel we don't measure up and if not careful we can end up abiding in a mind that is not sound sometimes we may panic after failing and ask the Lord fifty times to forgive us for the same thing over and over though we didn't repeat or continue in the sin. and because our heart is heavy from the pressure our own heart begins to condemn us and hold us hostage in a state of feelings not feeling forgiven but the Lord hears us and He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness but sometimes we just can't seem to forgive our self knowing we hurt the One we love who is our first Love. have ya ever experienced that ? where ya fell short you were convicted you quickly confessed and repented to the Lord but ya just couldn't forgive yourself ? I have been there before and the enemy tried to mentally pound me and drowned me.